Okay, first let me get this one straight, I like fast food burgers – a lot. But, that day finally came (and it comes to us all) when I thought “Hey these jeans are too tight, I suppose I should put on my fat pants instead” Only to realize “OMG! These ARE my fat pants! aaargh”.
That was it, the moment had finally arrived when in-between sorrowful sniffs the road forked in two directions. My lovely wife asks what’s wrong and all I could say was “nothing, sniff, sniff” and when she asked if I’d like to go out to dinner to cheer up I heard the voices on my shoulder talking to me. I had to make a choice. Did I?
A) Embrace the devil on my left shoulder and go for it whilst casually mentioning that all my clothes were so last season and we should go shopping together tonight too!
B) Listen to that long forgotten voice on my right shoulder saying “HAR, HAR, You just got reality checked! Now do something about it.”
Well, after another 5 minutes of futilely looking in the closet for clothes that fit, then seriously considering if the credit card could take the beating of a of new wardrobe of clothes I let the top button on my jeans stay open and finally decided that enough was enough, it’s time to take the second choice…but I was damned if I was going to give up burgers while doing it.
So, here’s what I did. After a year of eating out too much, and a new baby in the house I knew it would have to be cheap, so I cast aside thoughts of Subway and went to my old Favorite – McDonalds! The very next day I started myself on what I came to call “The McDonalds Dollar Menu Diet”.
I posted it to my Facebook page and at first my friends thought I was kidding until they saw the weight continue to come off, week after week.
For lunch 4-5 days a week (and a couple of dinners a week) I would have a McDouble, a Side Salad with Paul Newman’s low fat Balsamic Vinaigrette or low fat Italian salad dressing and either water or a large Diet Coke or large unsweetened Ice Tea. It cost me just $3.27 per meal including tax! I was filled up, had energy and a balanced diet. If I skipped the drink it was only $2.18 per meal.
This diet I chose and stuck to has put me from borderline obese back to the lean healthy figure I last had 10 years ago. Thanks McDonalds!
30 lbs later I swear that I never want to go back to what I was, but I still eat my “McDonalds Dollar Menu Diet” at least twice a week because it tastes so good. (Actually, I just finished another one for lunch…)
So, instead of blaming McDonalds for supersizing America I now happily say thanks for the healthy choices!
Gavin Fielding is former WWF wrestler and world sticky bun eating Champion. Gavin comes from a long line of thoroughbread mongrols and illegitimate bastards. His formative years were spent living in Hong Kong and the UK, where he developed his culinary sensibilities and learned to make some killer white rice.